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It's ok to be cranky!
 In fact, it can actually be really helpful to voice your true, cranky feelings. The self help and spiritual world are quick to point out the power of positive thinking, which is real, but this can easily shift into emotional avoidance, and even guilt, shame and fear about the presence of painful emotions. This article does a beautiful job of laying out how valuable it is to open up to all our feelings and emotions and how doing so with intention can support the transmutation of our painful and positive experiences. Just venting and complaining and wallowing in the things that are not going our way can lead to a snowball effect and make things feel more painful. Here are three ways to bring open and loving attention to our pain in a way that will support and alchemize:
- Mindful Presence : notice the feeling, emotion or sensation and describe it in great detail, what color is it, what temperature, texture, size, shape, what animal would it be, if it had a slogan or jingle what would it be, etc. Shifting into the sensory description brings us out of the lower brain and taps into our curiosity rather than anxiety about the experience which opens up possibilities for shifting into a more empowered and compassionate place.
- Expression with intention : share with a therapist, coach, spiritual advisor or friend with the intention of seeing possibilities or applying spiritual possibilities, use a tool like journaling (I love Journal Speak) or self inquiry such as The Work of Byron Katie, make art for expression (make a piece of art about the painful experience or one that captures the emotion, be it interpretive dance, a poem, song, collage, macaroni necklace, trash sculpture, etc), etc.
- Use the DBT skill IMPROVE (Imagery, meaning, prayer, relaxing, one thing in the moment, vacation, encouragement).
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Awesome DBT resource!
 If I could recommend one single tool, resource or modality for anyone who is suffering with being on this planet, I would without any hesitation say DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). I've been studying and living DBT (a set of skills based on cognitive behavioral therapy and zen buddhism) for the past 10 years and I can confidently say, I'd be dead or institutionalized without my DBT skills! And I am absolutely THRILLED to share that I have found a legitimate DBT resource that offers online live classes with replay available for the very low price of $19/month!! This is a heck of a deal, especially because there are many videos available on all sorts of topics to watch on demand as well and there is a community aspect. There are all sorts of "add-ons" for extra money (coaching groups, homework groups, one on one coaching) but you can get all the DBT basics for the $19 and you can even try it out for a week for free! I have no affiliation with them, I've been taking my classes through DBT Path for the past decade and while I adore them and think they are the best DBT class money can buy, I know there are people who are not able to or ready to invest that much so I was thrilled when I came across Jones Mindful Living. Check them out and let me know what you think!
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Shouldn't we be doing something?
The world has a lot going on and it can be tricky to find a place to land between "it's all just a game" and the fight for social justice. I don't know where to land most days, but I do take comfort when I remember the ineffective powerlessness I felt when I was "fighting" for peace in my activist days. I recently got a new hat that says "One of Them" and it helps me remember that whenever I have a moment of thinking there is any amount of "us vs them" I have gone into defense mode and there is no peace that can be created from there. Byron Katie says, "defense is the first act of war" and that used to really bother me, but once I learned about the nervous system, I realized how very true this is physiologically. When I feel threatened, I am blocked from my connection with Oneness and am forced to see an enemy, either in myself or someone else.
Reconnecting with Oneness and my sense of faith in a Source greater than myself takes intention and practice. I can't just sit back and let my negativity bias take over, if I want to see the daily miracles around me, I have to be willing to look for the miracles. Deb Dana who has written a beautiful book on applying the polyvagal theory to regular life (Anchored) and she calls this seeking out of the miracles "looking for glimmers." Instead of just finding triggers that remind us of all the reasons to be afraid or defensive, we can make sure to look out also for glimmers, things that are micromoments of joy, gratitude or peace. When we actively look for glimmers, our vagus nerve is supported, our physiology calms down and our resilience is enhanced.
You can do this by keeping a glimmer journal/tracker, setting aside a few moments each day to connect with a glimmer, naming glimmers before bed or when you awake, or swapping glimmers when a friend or community. I also love surrounding myself with inspirational and spiritually grounding stories. There are many ways to find positive, uplifting stories, there are "good news" news outlets, I've always loved the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, enjoy my Al-Anon daily reader and recently picked up the book The Zen Monkey and the Lotus Flower. Any type of spiritual text, poetry, nature, or sweet story will do! Here is a beautiful, simple, everyday story of developing faith, this trust that when we "have faith, the right solution will come."
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Laughter is the best medicine!
 there are more than enough glimmers to go around!
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And nature is good medicine too <3
 Bioluminescence <3
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